Saturday, October 16, 2010
Something Special: Ellen Lindner and love
It was unexpected and what I needed at that exact moment. It brought tears to my eyes. She has other quilts made using a similar technique with the sillouette borders that are equally strong and emotional. I do hope you'll visit her site to enjoy her work. Art truly feeds the soul and often brings us back to life.
Lindner's Reconciliation came for me at a time when my husband and I are celebrating our 39th anniversary. October 16! I started to write 'birthday' instead of anniversary -- one of those meaningful typos.
Our wedding was a rebirth for both of us. We were one. No longer alone facing a bewildering world, but two people together who drew closer as adversity surrounded us. Sometimes I forget how much we lean on each other and how much we hold each other up.
Through these years I've had some 'materialistic' moments and I'm not talking fabric or stash. But me selfiishly wanting grand gifts and declarations of love and romantic gestures. Roses! Diamonds! Romantic getaways! Once or twice roses if I guilted him into it, maybe he'd make dinner. Maybe I'd add candles. But mostly he just lived each day showing me love in everything he did for me -- and I took for granted. I'd stew and get over it and go on loving him each day with the little things like making sure his peaches were free of fuzz or not serving creamed peas or mending his pants, or buying shirts that had pockets, or turning to kiss and hug him every chance I got. We are always touching.
We have a cat who doesn't like to be held. He likes to sit beside me with his back foot against me. He just needs that connection to know I'm there -- to keep track of me. It is something like that for Derrol and me. We don't need to be coddled or fawned over, just need that touch for reassurance. Maybe we both have a bit of awe that we were lucky to find each other.
Lately it seems like we've become more nurse and patient as we struggle to keep him as healthy as possible. As I remind you all too often, he has ALS and the recovery rate from ALS is ZERO.
Our touches have more to do with health care and trust me there is NOTHING romantic about a man on a breathing machine. Nothing until I look into his eyes and see that twinkle and suddenly we are both 19 and very much in love all over again. Maybe we have never grown up.
The Reconciliation piece for me is more about reconnecting. It has been a long time since my husband could stand and hold me in his arms and so Reconciliation is a nostalgia piece as well.
What did he give me for our anniversary? You will laugh and groan but for me it was the best gift ever. He called me in to his bed this morning and said, "You gotta see this." I saw a naked old man with skinny legs. SKINNY LEGS! We've been battling edema (swelling) for years and today the swelling is gone. It was the absolute BEST gift. What can I say, he knows me better than I know myself. Better than diamonds, roses and a Hawaiian cruise all rolled up with a big red ribbon. He is the best gift of all and I pray he hangs around for a very long time!
Please enjoy Ellen's special quilt. I just had to share this and our special occasion with my good friends -- you are my community and I don't know what I'd do without you.