Post Mother's Day Reminisce

Nick's First Grade photo

Our youngest son, Nick, all grown up, with his lovely wife Casandra
on his graduation from college

Mother's Day never quite lives up to expectations placed upon it by advertisers and those hawking their wares and trying to make consumers think that motherhood has anything to do with diamonds, flowers, chocolates or spa days.

I'm in that no-man's land where my own mother has died and my sons are grown men leading lives a continent away from their old Mom. While making the morning coffee, I looked out of the window and across the green yard of our Florida home. Now, our boys were raised up North, and yet, I could see my babies clinging to our hands and raising their feet off of the ground to keep the grass from tickling their bare feet. The trust that their dad and I would hold them safe. Hold them while they lifted off from this earth....

My big he-men sons will always be my sweet babies. One who couldn't say 'feet' changed our vocabulary forever and those appendages at the ends of our legs will forever be 'peet.' Thank you Nick.

Or my darling first born who has a prodigious vocabulary (at an early age) because his chattery mother talked to him nonstop throughout the day. He helped me pass words and love of them to his brother.

He was with me when I cooked. His carrier sat on the counter beside me while I rolled out dough or stirred up casseroles and all of the time I explained what I was doing and showed him utensils and named them and gave him big wooden spoons to wave around. And when bigger he learned to take that spoon and bang on the pots and pans.

Everywhere I looked I could see them bringing me handsful of dandelions that Grandpa helped them pick in his retirement goal of eradicating his yard of those darn yellow flowers. The grins, the arms

Dave (our first born) with his little cousin Lizzie

reaching for me. The hugs. The slobbery kisses. The heads resting on my shoulder as the body went limp in sleep, trusting me totally to hold and protect. The why stage. The potty training. The 'eating bushes' introduction to broccoli and Bill Cosby. Later listening to the Disney albums of their blockbuster musicals such as Robin Hood. And the boys insisting that they must listen to the Hobbit album during lunch because it was about food.

"Blunt the knives, bend the forks
Smash the bottles and burn the corks
Chip the glasses and crack the plates
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"

But they particularly liked the song that included bones and blistering skin and goblins....

Dave and his lovely wife Shell

We sat together and read. In fact the first photo of our newborn firstborn involved reading a book to him. Throughout the years we learned about Dooley and the Snortsnoot and The Giant Jam Sandwich, and every dinosaur, Curious George, and Dr. Suess book ever written. Trips to the library were a treat and seeing them curled up in the most uncomfortable ways with a book propped in front of them....

Their Easter photos with cropped pants and slicked back hair and sweet smiles spreading across faces under which big bow ties bobbed.

I miss my babies, I miss my boys, but their memories are always right here with me, tucked safely in my heart. And I am so very proud of the men they have become. Genuine original strong determined, funny and kind, thoughtful and caring, unselfish and driven by conscience rather than gold. I am so blessed. So very blessed. And thankful that they forgave me for those Easter outfits that I made for them so many years ago. (Sorry, I need to dig out those Easter photos. Maybe another post....)

Another To-Do List But I Need a How-To List

Hunter Stars and Pinwheels using HSTs, my
latest obsession... And note the coffee theme. My
latest addiction....

I seem to spend more time making To-Do lists than actually doing the things on the lists.

This morning I decided that this is the list I will use. I will print it out and post it and look at it and take great delight in crossing things off of it. Major projects, not just -- brush my teeth (check); wash the dishes (check)....

I would put things on my list such as:

∆  paint the wall in the entryway

∆  clean out the garage

∆  organize the things in the garage

 

∆  finish the table for the patio

∆  clean up the office and make it less cluttered

Notice the fancy lettering? The symbol/bullet before each entry. Yes, I took great pains to spruce up this To-Do List. I filled a page with major projects I needed to accomplish and some had to do with quilt making and charity quilts and sharing with others.

But the last entry is perhaps the most difficult for me.
 

∆  give myself permission to have nice things and to have things the way that pleases me…

 

I see my husband losing his battle. An inch here, a breath there. Everyone who sees him these days say, "Looks like you've lost weight." I'd be pleased if they said that to me. But for Derrol, it means that he's losing the battle. More muscle has faded from his frame and with it his strength. By evening each day he quietly says, "I wish I could stop hurting."

And yet we are so fortunate. At least he can still talk, unlike too many of our friends who are dealing with ALS that hit them in the throat and stole their voice, their ability to swallow and their joy of food and eating. We still have food, although choking and dropping food sometimes interferes. And we have a kind of communication that begins with him mumbling something. I respond with a, "I didn't understand a word of that." And him making great effort to enunciate or do hand movements o
r roll his eyes or point until I understand. Every movement, every word is laborous and he quickly becomes short of breath.

He's most comfortable in bed with a ventilator helping him breathe.

Theo, our dear kitten, has adapted well to our strange lifestyle. Better than I have, because I seem to always be on pause. He snuggles and cuddles and keeps his claws tucked away. He seems to enjoy the afghan I knitted almost as much as Derrol...

I start a quilt project and wander away from it, feeling like there is something else I SHOULD be doing.

I begin a strenuous project such as painting the floor of the screened porch and see in his eyes the pain and anguish. He was the one who did such things -- before the ALS. He was the power and strength. WE worked together on all things. But now he watches and sees me struggle and do things 'not quite right' and frustration and anger builds. He has no way to escape his demons. No way to make his body do what he wants it to. He's trapped in this flesh and bone overcoat that may as well be cement.

So I tend to make To-Do lists and sneak around to do things that will give him pain and make him feel his disease even more -- not just feel it in the cramping muscles and weakness and choking and inability to breathe -- but in his soul. How can I take pleasure in creating a beautiful quilt, the joy of creating. How can I enjoy the symmetry of a room cheerfully decorated and inviting when I know that he will never see it because his power chair will not fit through the doorway or make the turns from hallway into the room?

So, before I can accomplish the long string of projects on my To Do list, I must first find a way to shake off the lethargie and survivors' guilt and continue living. How does one even consider life when all around me are the signs of dying? How indeed. I need a To-Do list to show me what things I can do, steps I can take to join the living again and stop waiting to die. A How-To List.  How indeed....

Please Help: Chance to Create and Help Find a Cure for ALS

Sorry for the short notice. Just received this today:

Here's a Disappearing Nine-Patch Quilt I've been
working on to donate to Hopes and Dreams Quilts

HOPES and DREAMS QUILT CHALLENGE FOR ALS

MONTH-LONG QUILT SHOW AND CELEBRATION

OF MOMS IN MAY

We have some exciting news to share with you, and while it is quick notice, we think you might want to participate. The Hopes and Dreams Quilt Challenge for ALS has been given the opportunity to have a month-long celebration of moms and the special women in our lives beginning the first weekend in May - just in time for Mother’s Day! The Richard Stravitz 30th Street Gallery on Pacific Avenue at the beach will feature quilts sent in from all over the United States to benefit people living with ALS (known by many as Lou Gehrig’s Disease), as well as raise much needed funds for ALS Research In addition to the quilts, there will be artwork capturing the loving essence of women in the form of oil paintings, watercolors, jewelry, mixed media, hand blown glass and sculpture.

We know this is very quick notice – but we thought it would be nice to have an array of small quilted art to sell with 100% of the proceeds benefiting ALS Research. In particular we thought it would be nice to have a selection of fabric postcards that visitors to the beach area could purchase and mail to their mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters and even best friends.

If you are interested in participating in this opportunity and would like to donate a small quilted item and/or fabric postcard(s), we would love to have them by April 28. For every small quilted item and/or fabric postcard received, you will be entered to win one full case of assorted Quilters Dream Batting.

You can drop off your fabric postcards and small quilt items at the following locations:

A Different Touch Fabric Hut - give to Shilo on Mon – Thurs; Saturday (no Friday)

1107 S. Military Highway 2340 E. Little Creek Road

Chesapeake, VA 23320 Norfolk, VA 23518

Nancy’s Calico Patch SEW EZ What’s Your Stitch ‘n Stuff

21 Hidden Shopping Center 2858 Airline Blvd. 5350 Kemps River Drive Ste. 104

Newport News, VA 23606 Portsmouth, VA 23701 Virginia Beach, VA 23464

Quilters Dream Batting

589 Central Drive

Virginia Beach, VA 23454

Hopes and Dreams for a Cure

Art, Jewelry and Quilts Celebrating Moms

Entry Form

We thank you for participating in this opportunity to help find a cure for ALS by providing small quilted items and/or fabric postcards that will be on display and for sale during the month of May at the Richard Stravitz 30th Street Fine Art Gallery in Virginia Beach, Virginia.

Please attach this Entry Form to the back of your donation so that we may have a complete list of individuals who are graciously giving of their time, talents and treasures to help raise much needed funds for ALS Research (known by many as Lou Gehrig’s Disease). Each donation will be entered into a drawing for one full case of assorted Quilters Dream Batting.

Item Donated: _____________________________________________________________________________________

Name: ____________________________________________________________________________________________

Phone: ___________________________________________________________________________________________

Address: __________________________________________________________________________________________

City: _________________________________________________ State: ________________ Zip: _________________

Email: ____________________________________________________________________________________________

Description of your quilt or postcard: ___________________________________________________________________

　

I agree that my quilt and/or postcard become the sole property of the Hopes & Dreams Quilt Challenge and may be photographed, displayed and sold for the purpose of raising much needed funds for ALS Research:



Signature: _____________________________________________ Date: _________________________________
More about the disease:

It was in the summer of 1939 that a rare disease called Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) was given a national voice. Baseball legend, Lou Gehrig, stood on the field at Yankee Stadium on July 4 and delivered one of the most memorable speeches in American history, announcing to the world that "today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth." Less than two years later, at the age of 38, Lou Gehrig, died of ALS.

Seven decades there is still no treatment or cure and even though ALS is one of the most common neurological diseases, the cause of ALS remains a mystery. What is known is that ALS is on the rise… with as many patients being diagnosed with ALS as MS, but ALS is considered 100% fatal. USA military veterans, particularly those deployed during the Gulf War, have been especially vulnerable to ALS. Our veterans are approximately twice as likely to develop ALS, a disorder that affects and destroys the function of nerves and muscles – while usually leaving its victim’s sense of touch/feeling and intelligence intact.

"Studies show that there is approximately a 66%-percent greater chance of our military veterans being diagnosed with ALS," says Kathy Thompson, founder of the non-profit Hopes & Dreams, Inc., and mother to son, Josh Thompson, who is living with ALS. "Our brave men and women of our military fight on the battlefield yet way too often come home to fight an unbeatable enemy known as ALS. Not only are more military veterans being diagnosed with ALS, we are seeing so many more athletes and younger men and women, including children, being diagnosed with this cruel and devastating disease that has no known cure," adds Thompson.

　
Thompson knows all about ALS. Her 32 year- old son Josh was diagnosed with the disease in 2007. In an effort to honor her son and to keep any other mother from witnessing the daily devastation of this disease that progressively destroys all muscle movement in the body, Thompson created Hopes and Dreams, Inc., a 501(c)3 non-profit focused on funding ALS Research.

In May, the Richard Stravitz 30 Street Gallery in Virginia Beach will host a month-long exhibit and sale to help Thompson find a cure. The Hopes and Dreams for a Cure for ALS art and quilt exhibit will celebrate moms and the women in our lives by featuring a collection of fine art, jewelry, and quilts that expresses the beauty and nurturing spirit of moms everywhere.

<sup>The Gallery will showcase works by master artists in watercolor, oil painting, hand blown glass, sculpture, textiles and jewelry. Gallery owner and award-winning sculptor Richard Stravitz will be donating a portion of the sale of the artwork and jewelry to ALS Research.

"I have had the unfortunate opportunity to witness this cruel disease first hand in the lives of friends and loved ones who are struggling to walk, talk, eat and breathe on a daily basis," says Richard Stravitz. "Having been touched by their strength and will to live, I want to honor them and thousands of others by helping to raise funds so that a cure can be found through research."

The Gallery will also be filled with colorful, exquisitely detailed quilts donated by women across the USA to raise money for a cure for ALS. The Hopes and Dreams Quilts are a national exhibit of hand and machine quilted wall hangings and bed quilts, many made and donated by family members and friends of people living with ALS.

"Quilters are an extremely generous community and the Hopes and Dreams Quilts are a present to all of us fighting for a cure, " says Thompson. "This exhibit is an opportunity to find a lovely gift for moms and the women in our lives knowing that 100% of the proceeds from the sales of quilts, as well as lovely artist painted cards and fabric postcards specifically made for this month-long celebration, benefits ALS Research."

The Hopes and Dreams for a Cure for ALS exhibit and sale opens Saturday, May 4 and runs through Saturday, June 1st at the Richard Stravitz 30th Street Gallery, 30th & Pacific Avenue in Virginia Beach. The gallery will be open on Mother’s Day, Sunday, May 12th.

For more information, visit or call the Richard Stravitz 30th Street Gallery at (757) 961-7509 or Quilters Dream Batting at (757) 463-3264.
###</sup>

Theo, Yes I Do Adore This Sweetie!

Note that dear Theo is helping me at the keyboard and is
pointing to a DVD made by Kathy McNeil regarding
applique. A really good and easy to follow DVD, by
the way!

Yes, I am rather obsessed with our new kitten. We haven't had a kitten in the house for almost a decade! So this is almost like being a grandma! He can do no wrong. (Almost).  He comes running and jumps in my arms. He cuddles against my neck and purrs, relaxing and totally trusting me. He noses me and pats me and comes toward me rather than running away. He listens. He minds! (Most of the time.) He really likes to be with both of us and has assigned himself a long list of responsibilities (3 a.m. wake up call -- we're working to change that one). Also he wrestles my husband's shoes into submission, oversees the getting up and getting to bed process for him, and stands guard at the sink to make sure he properly brushes his teeth. I don't know how we ever got along without Theo!

Theo also knows when I need a hug, when I'm nodding off at the keyboard and need wakened up, and although a very quiet cat, he will meow if he has lost track of me.

Theo is a sweetheart and I've posted several photos of him on Facebook.

Today I posted a favorite photo of him in his sweet little basket with, yes, it is hand knitted, blanket. It is rather nostalgic because I fear that he's moving into a new phase of his life where he will be spending more time in his clubhouse.


Theo in his little basket on the fireplace mantle (BIG mantle) with
his handknit blanket (same pattern as I used for Alexa)

Yes, my little man has decided that he really REALLY likes a box in the laundry room and has adopted it as his own.



Here's the laundry room club house.
 

And in reference to last night's blog about the missing ball... it is still missing! Not a sign of it! Tonight I will try to make an even better ball for him, maybe I'll tether it to something. I wonder if I could put some microchip in it, a GPS device so I could track it down.... Maybe a bit extreme....


Theo and the mystery of the missing ball

Between my quilt adventures as a writer, fiction writer, and even making a few things of my own, I knit.

Here's a photo of my new great great grand niece Alexa wrapped in the blanket I knit for her and modeling the crocheted rose I made to decorate the gift box.

Tonight I crocheted.

It has been awhile, but with hook in hand, I carefully followed the directions to make a little single crocheted ball for our new little cat, Theo. It took me a few starts to get it right and then I'm not sure I kept accurate track of the rounds. But on final inspection it was mostly round. I need to stuff it, but I couldn't wait to show Theo.

He was excited!

I threw it on the bed where my husband was lying. Theo quickly made his way to the bed and made a beeline for the little ball. And then with it firmly in his jaws he jumped off the bed, batted it around the room and then carried it off to another part of the house.

I truly think Theo was a soccer star in another life. And perhaps a cat burgler because he burgled that ball and I have not seen a hint of it since he took off with it.

Perhaps it will show up tomorrow and I can take a photo. But, in the meantime, if you go to Ravelry and plug in crocheted cat ball, they have free instructions to make your own. The gold ball by Emily Premise Conclusion. I used the instructions for the smallest ball.

I also am moving forward with my half-square triangles project. And I am determined to make an easy-peasy quilt for the guest room. I'm terrible at picking out colors to use, so I am using black and white prints in a very easy eight-inch square nine-patch design for about 3/4ths of the quilt. Then I plan to applique (probably fuse) a giant yellow flower on the lower right corner of the bed that will cover almost all of the remaining quarter of the bed. That's the plan. Hopefully I can actually do it. Especially since I sent for more fabric today. Eh-hem. No need to mention that to my husband. He'll find out soon enough when the credit card bill arrives.....

I have a couple of items to mention, but it will be in the next blog. It is almost midnight now and I'm fading fast.

Half-Square-Triangle Star and Update on This and That

Hunter's Star made with half-square triangles

Are you still there?

I know I have taken forever to post to this blog, but here I am, trying to get back in the saddle again -- so to speak.

And SURPRISE! I actually made a quilt square of my own! As you can see it is the Hunter Star, but this one has a fun trick to it for those of us who appreciate success without too much challenge.

Half-square triangles (HST) make this easy peasy. And there are so many easy ways to make HST that you might be interested in trying various techniques.

The HST technique that I used is featured on an easy to follow video by Missouri Quilt Company and it makes me feel so clever. It is even easier if you use the pre-cut charm squares to begin this process. But I also cut my own squares and that is not too demanding. I like the part about putting the two squares, right sides together -- five inch squares are what I used. After they are aligned, stitch a 1/4-inch seam around the entire perimeter. The take your rotary cutter and ruler and cut diagonals both directions -- it shows you in the video.

The one concern may be that the sides are on the diagonal and will easily stretch, so you much carefully press and sew without stretching the fabric. That isn't hard to avoid.

So, for those who think I only write about or cheer on other quilters, here's proof that I can at least piece a square. I wonder if my son might like a quilt made using this pattern. Hmmm? Of course I would be forced to buy new fabric....

This particular star and another one just like it, hopefully will become place mats or if I get really industrious, a table cloth or runner. I might even get it finished!

Speaking of getting things finished. I'm back on the trail of getting my Subversive Stitchers: Women Armed with Needles novel written. I have thrown caution to the wind and taped a long piece of butcher paper on the wall of my office. Onto that I will write and pin and paste and print the storyline of my novel. I am also hanging a clothes line from which I will pin chapters and pages so I can actually get this thing into some kind of order and above all of this will be a shelf to hold my research materials. Organization seems like an excellent step forward. And since I am a visual person -- perhaps if I see it all of the time, I will actually work on it! I have many MANY pages of scenes and character development and research, now it is time to fit it all together into a story line. Stay tuned!

If any of you subscribe to Quilters World or The Quilter, you may have had the chance to read some of the profiles I've been writing for these publications. Quilt Trends has carried a few as well. It is exciting to learn more about such greats as Gina Paris Perkes and Kathy McNeil and Helen Remick and so many more. This is paradise for me -- writing about quilters and their work, their art. After seeing Helen Remick's yoyo quilts, I will never look at a yoyo in quite the same way!

Washington quilt artist Kathy McNeil's DVD for applique is the best! And her work always says so much. She really speaks with fabric. And Gina -- her machine quilting is pushing the limits, setting the bar higher and higher and the awards she's winning attest to that. If you haven't added her book to your library -- it is definitely worth the investment.

Well, that's today's new blog post. I hope after all of this time no one went into shock to see new info here. Thanks for sticking with me.

And for those who follow my husband and my journey through ALS and caregiving -- we're doing well. He's still able to work and his employer has agreed to a flexible schedule so he can also work from home when necessary. And I haven't been called on to do anything heroic in the line of caregiving -- so we're all good.

Oh, and we added a new member of the family.
Theodore (Teddy the Rough Rider) 'Theo' has agreed to being adopted. We LOVE the caregivers and volunteers at the Seminole County Animal Shelter. Nothing better than rescuing a furry baby.

He keeps us hopping! I'd forgotten the joys and terrors of life with a kitten. (Notice in this photo he is tuckered out from helping me write about Subversive Stitchers and he is pointing to Kathy McNeil's DVD. He really likes the bird pictures! Theo has good taste!

Here's a photo of my Confetti Cats project 

 

It has been way too long since I last posted to any of my blogs. I have kept in touch on Facebook and liked the short sweet way of connecting with stitching friends while I sorted out problems I had with the blogging process. It happens, now that my savvy technicians have prevailed, that I had an insidious virus that made it nearly impossible for me to access my blogs. Add to that the changes blogger has undergone, AND my terrible case of procrastination and you have my list of excuses.

As creative people we tend to keep a stash of reasons and excuses for not getting into the sewing room or not finishing up those most boring aspects of making a project -- just stitch on the binding and be done with it!

Since my last blog entry I have become catless. All three of my darlings died. Two of them were 20 years old and were brother and sister and died within a week of each other. We had been expecting it for several years, but our Bernie seemed to keep them young. When he died unexpectedly (heart attack on blood clot, we think), the other two began their decline. These past few months may be the longest time in my life that I have remained catless. When we lived in the middle of farm country some friend or farmer would provide a new feline for our household. Or some beautiful fur baby would simply show up at the doorstep and move in. Often family members gifted our sons with cats as birthday presents. But our geography and cat circumstances are different these days and no cat has come knocking and I don't know any farmers within a 1200 mile radius.

But, as someone who does not relish house cleaning, I find a hairless home rather inviting. I keep telling myself that as soon as I eradicate the entire house from the last of their cat hair, I will get another cat -- or two. I haven't rushed into cleaning. I may have a fear of commitment or it could just be procrastination. That fear may extend into sewing projects because I haven't even been knitting lately and haven't touched the sewing machine in far far far far far too long. Maybe I have a virus, too....

What I am doing is reading. And I'm finding books that I enjoy and draw inspiration from and books that cause me to think. Right now I have three books open at the same time -- The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by David Eggers, and Ill Fares the Land by Tony Judt. All are amazing in their own ways.

I'll admit that The Historian has been on my shelf for a good long time. I had heard from friends how good it was, but I thought I didn't want to read about blood thirsty vampires. So far it is about the hunt through history for such a creature -- Dracula -- and the writing is quite good. Perhaps what changed my mind was reading A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness. Decent writing, a rather lean plot, too much tea drinking and sniffing of each other, but an interesting love story and history lesson that involved witches and vampires. It was a much improved version (in my opinion) of Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. I only managed to get through the first book of that series. Harkness is writing a trilogy and I'm looking forward to the second book. I do hope she can afford a better editor for the second book.

Friends have been extolling the virtues of Eggers' book, a memoir/fiction combination if he's to be believed. And I must admit that the writing style has drawn me in, although I can't seem to find affection for the characters. But the stream of consciousness kind of writing, the way the story flows and stops and flows and changes direction and yet works, really works, has me reading to see how this works. The storyline of an older sibling taking a much younger brother to raise after the death of both parents within weeks of each other due to cancer also keeps me reading. The honesty or apparent honesty of the voice is also inviting, but 20 year old self-indulgent young men really aren't my favorite characters, so I'm lapping up parts of this book and tolerating others. Yet I recommend it, especially to writers who want to see a book put together in a different way.

Ahhhh and then we come to Tony Judt's book that taught me, within the first few pages, the difference between  liberals and social democrats. Perhaps the one thought that has drawn me into this book was

"Something is profoundly wrong with the way we live today. ...We have made a virtue out of the pursuit of material self-interest: .... We know what things cost but have no idea what they are worth."

So for anyone who has had the same feelings that I have -- that there is something profoundly wrong with a country who worships making money rather than providing services or making a product -- you might find this book fascinating. So far it is an easy read. I like his informal style. But for me it isn't a quick read because I stop to savor and ponder and consider and weigh what he's saying.

So this is what I've been doing lately. This is what has kept me from the blog, from  the sewing machine, and from my dear fabric loving friends. I hope to do better at multi-tasking.